Haa Ana Dza...

Belakangan ini saya sedang bingung sama saya diri saya sendiri. *lho?

Iya, nggak tau juga nih kenapa. Beberaa hari ini saya lumayan aktif lagi di organ kampus setelah bersemedi sekian lama di "gua hiro" alias duniaku sendiri. Nggak ada alasan kuat sih kenapa aku jadi jarang ke organ itu, bukan karena sibuk ikut kegiatan lain, bukan juga karena sok sibuk kuliah, cuma males aja. Dan ternyata, karena keadaan yang "mendesak" supaya ke organ lagi, akhirnya dateng juga kesana en ikut lagi acara-acara disana.

Nggak nyangka, perasaan nggak nyampe dua bulan aku semedinya, tapi kok udah berasa seabad yah? kenapa? soalnya tiba-tiba organisasi itu sudah penuh sama orang-orang baru. Ada yang emang angkatan baru, ada yang dasarnya angkatan lama tapi baru mulai muncul sekarang-sekarang aja. Mereka keliatan lebih kompak, seru en ajib banget lah satu sama lain. 

Kenapa ya, tiba-tiba aku ngerasa "strange" di sana?? walopun banyak juga temen-temen yang dulu akrab en seru-seruan bareng, tetep aja ngerasa kayak baru mendarat di planet baru. Aku jadi kaku, buat nge joke aja rasanya garing-garing gimanaaa gitu. Banyak joke ato wacana baru yang aku ketinggalan, jadi nggak nyambung gitu ngobrolnya.

Akhirnya, aku cuma jadi "pajangan" aja di acara-acara kemarin dan tadi pagi, fyuuuhhh...

Are you perfect? "nobody's perfect", said an ancient wise word. Is that true?  Do we have no any chance to be perfect? I remember one of my favorite lecturer who devy this proverb. He's indeed one of the "nyentrik" lecturer in my faculty (how to say "nyentrik" in english? :p). I mean, he often has a different thought with the common people. He likes to say something oppose with the others, of course with a reason. He said that the proverb is wrong! because, Allah has already told us obviously in His holy Al-Qur'an that He has created a human being as the best creation. Let's take a look in Q.s At-Tin : 4 "Laqod khalaqnal insaana fii ahsaani taqwiim" which is mean "We have already created a human in the best creation". So, there's no exception for us to say "nobody's perfect".

And then, which one is the truth? admit our selves as an unperfect one and full of waekness or the opposite one indeed? Me, my self and I standing in the middle between both of them now (ckckckc..I think I've followed Al-Ghazali's way :p) by using one of method in Ikhtilaful Hadits - Al-Jam'u wat Taufiq -, I take a conclusion that physically yes, human is the best and perfect God's creation.What about they who was born with uncomplete part of body? As we know, human called as a perfect one is because

Wow.. apparently, to carry out this blog is not as easy as I thought before. Just same like the others activity, at the beginning I felt an overflow spirit in my soul either in my brain. A lot of ideas came out from it's prison. But, as the time passes, I don't feel that zest anymore. I don't know where and how it is steam exactly. All I know is I've been about a month leaving this page, hahahaha... 

Actually, I planed to post in my blog at least once a week. Hmmm... a nice (and brave) target for a beginner who doesn't have any supporting tools and ability in writing like my self, hehehe. Whatever, because my exception was : I could increase my ability in writing and also have a "nice place" to share with whoever. Well, although maybe some of the readers actually just slipped upon this page, huhuhu... u_u

it's ok.. ;D

Well, I was thinking that I want to re-carry out (is that true? I mean rearrange) my blog by fill it again with a common posting. I don't know, maybe it will be little bit different like it used to be. Because I have a silly ideas to write my post in english as possible as I could.Why do I call it as a "silly idea"? because I am totally aware that my english is so terrible, moreover I guess you'll have so many difficulties to understand what I really want to tell. So sorry about it.. :p

There's no other purpose of that silly idea except to improve my skill. I really have an eager of this language. That's why, just like Mr.Hilal (the founding father of SPBA) said, "make everything around youas what you like most". So, here I am. I want to apply it, and I think this blog is an appropriate place.

Hmm.. I pray for my self. Hopefully, it will not only become a prologue, but also could be a real way to help me achieve my dream. And I pray for you all, for the same thing..

saking lamanya gak nulis, lay out puskot lt.2 aja ampe udah berubah, ckckck.... ^^

Hmm.. segarnya udara di halaman blog ini, hehehe... setelah sekian lama (baru juga beberapa hari neng!!) gak ngutak ngatik, rasanya jari-jari kaki, eh..tangan ini ingin beradu cepat memijit si keyboard, hihihi...

Memang beberapa hari kemarin aku pulang ke Jakarta, perihal urus-urus STNK (bayar pajak, de el el yang bikin aku sedikit mual membayangkan kemana larinya semua itu). Tapi aku senang, karena kepulanganku kemarin bukan hanya sekedar memberi suntikan ke Gayus and the gank doank, tapi mau ketemu keluargaku juga, yang entah kenapa walaupun sudah sekitar 20 tahun bersama mereka, aku tidak pernah merasa bosan sedikitpun!! (ya iyalaaah..). Terutama adikku yang paling kecil, Ayashun panggilannya. Makin mengada-ada saja tingkah lakunya yang bikin aku ngakak. Dari nyanyi lagu "keong racun" dengan versi anak kecil (senangkepnya mereka) "...ayo goda diriku, ayo culik diriku.." hahahaha... Ya ampun ni bocah. Sampe ngikutin kalimat yang lagi ngetren disana, misalnya aja waktu aku nanya "ayash, mau main kemana?", spontan dia menjawab, "kemana aja boleeh...yang penting oke!!". Kemudian dia langsung ngacir meninggalkan aku yang melongo di dapur.

Atau, waktu aku nanya dengan sepenuh hati dan

rasa itu anugrah, kata orang...

rasa itu indah, kata orang juga...

dan rasa itu sungguh amat sangat menyenangkan,

lagi-lagi kata orang...

tapi, rasa itu musibah, pengalaman...

tiap dia datang, ia cuma bikin semua serba susah...

resah.. dan gelisah, ini juga pengalaman...

mana yang harus kupercaya menurutmu, kawan???

anugrah? atau musibah?

entah, aku atau rasa itu yang salah???

yang jelas, mataku ini selalu basah...

dan luka ini bertambah parah...

haruskah aku marah? atau diam, menunggu, pasrah...

sudah!!!sudah!!!sudah!!!

aku cukup lelah,

aku sudah JENGAH!!!